Will our fat leader be allowed to borrow the captain's hat and charge around Lyme Bay? Shouting 'half ahead', 'flank speed', 'hard a'port' and all that sort of thing. Maybe fire off the machine gun, or whatever it is that a patrol boat is armed with? They might even splice the main brace for him in the wardroom.
Much more fun than having to worry oneself about tariffs, vaccines or tiresome foreigners. And they probably won't serve fish for lunch. Rather cottage pie all round, proper food for True Brit seamen.
I remember reading that his hero, the great Churchill, got a great bang at being carried down the coast of East Africa on a battleship or something, in the intervals of his riding on the very front of a train so that he could take pot shots at passing big game. On some mission or other. Perhaps he was His Majesty's Secretary of State for the Colonies at the time, I think at some time before the start of the first world war.
PS: will the captain preserve his commanding dignity by insisting that his fat leader wear a face mask when he is on the bridge? Would such a stand of principle help or hinder his subsequent career?
PS: cottage pie being glossed as cotton pie by at least one correspondent. The trials and torment of lockdown never seem to come to an end.
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