Trial by call centre

My old fob (aka Digipass 270) from HSBC having given up on me after a spot of bother with numbers, the man at the call centre arranged for me to be sent a new one. Plus an activation code under separate cover. Plus an instruction to call him back when I got them. On no account to attempt activation by myself!

This has now been done. An hour's trial by call centre. Nothing particularly wrong with the system and the operator was polite, helpful and patient. Nevertheless it was all very tedious and tiring - not least because I managed to get quite a few more numbers wrong on the way.

Maybe one day some bank will come up with the bright idea of charging for current account services and them providing real people with whom one can talk to face to face. Maybe, even, without an appointment. Perhaps somewhere in London, not so far from us here in Epsom. Like they used to in the good old days, when you paid so much a cheque, so much a transaction.

To be fair, there are people who you can talk to in this way, but I no longer know what you can usefully talk to them about. Beyond being fairly sure they are not empowered to be helpful with problems with online banking, with all such power resting with the call centres. Maybe there is some smart alec at HSBC who would say that customers can't have it both ways, that they are either online or offline. And perhaps remind us that in the days when banks were cuddly, there was no online. You were at the mercy of your bank manager - a breed which was apt to be difficult and stuffy with impecunious young customers - and a breed which I believe is now more or less extinct.

Goodness knows how people who are older and more doddery than I am manage.

PS: the snap is of a lady on the Onespan payroll. Readers are invited to try to find out who she is.

Reference 1: https://www.onespan.com/resources/digipass-270/datasheet. 'Ultra portable strong authentication'. My second one in as many years. BH does rather better, but then she hardly ever uses hers.