Dignity in dying

There was a meeting of Dignity in Dying's West Surrey group last week, on the Stag Hill site of Surrey University, with the last such meeting noticed at reference 1 and the organisation itself being at reference 2.

Much pondering about how to get there, not being keen on driving in the dark, despite the short distance, and with Stag Hill being cut off from the likes of Travelodge by the railway. I had not realised before how the town was confined, or perhaps bisected, by the combination of railways, rivers and hills. In the end I settled for train, which worked out fine. Indeed it started off fine with a further sighting of the flower carriage, No.62814, last noticed at reference 3. Perhaps this coach has had a change of depot, it now appearing quite frequently after a long absence.

I also noticed a number of NESCOT students leaving Epsom after their day's studying. Perhaps the place really is pulling in people from the area at large - giving some credence to the claim that more people come into Epsom of a working morning than leave for London.

Dignity in living

There was also an advertisement for the new Abbeyfield operation, behind the tracks at Ewell West. Not quite ready yet, but who know what might be needed in ten or twenty years time?

And confusion caused at maybe 20 yards by a young lady talking to a colleague across the tracks. From a distance I was convinced she was talking French, but closer to it was clearly English. I don't recall whether she was French, but it seems like plausible that someone speaking English with a French accent would sound French from a distance; all that one would hear would be the French sounds and cadence, with the English words being lost.

A bit of flaffing around at Guildford, but after a while I found Walnut Tree Close, jammed between the railway and the river and made my way north to the footbridge across to Stag Hill. A footbridge from which one got a fine view of the railway heading north: main line straight ahead, the Reading line off to the left and the Epsom line off to the right. A serious junction and serious barrier between the town and Stag Hill.

Surrey University's very own Bullingdons

The library

On into the campus, which seemed to be largely new. Made my way to the library building, where there was a shop and a seating area where I could take my picnic. Like at UCL, the library was open 24 by 7, although it all seemed very quiet this Monday evening. As did the shop, 'Simply Fresh', which seemed quite large - and which was licensed. A chain which I don't think I have come across before. Maybe they specialise in servicing universities and university towns? See reference 5.

And so onto Room No.6 in the main teaching block. A large room, with seats for around a hundred people, slightly shabby with a clock which did not work, but well tooled up with audio visual teaching aids. And the piano already noticed at reference 4. And apart from the team from Dignity, maybe around 40 people turned up, which I thought pretty good for a rather dismal subject on a rather dismal night. Quite a lot of young people, presumably from the University. Some LGBTQ and one wheelchair.

I went prepared to try and talk particulars about exactly how a dignified death might be managed, but this turned out not to be appropriate. Instead we had a rousing talk from the chief, Sarah Wootton, a lady with, I think, a background in choice campaigning.

She talked about campaigning and about how, after the serious defeat of  the private members' bill introduced by Rob Marris in 2015, with roughly 300 against and 100 for, despite something similar having done rather better in the House of Lord's the year before, what was needed was steady work on our MP's, a sufficient number of whom had to be convinced that something needed to be done. She observed that our MP's were rather more faithful than the rest of the population and faith accounted for a lot of the serious opponents to assisted dying. And like the people who instructed Labour Party canvassers when I was very young, she told us not to waste our breath on these serious opponents; they were never going to change their minds. We needed to work on all the MP's on the middle ground. Maybe I will put up a stall on Stamford Green next time they have a fête? If they let fox & badger huggers in, why not Dignity in Dying? Another outing for the trestle tables of references 7 and 8?

Which took me back to choice: what business has a faith person telling me how I ought to die? Dying is a very private business and the manner of my dying is mostly my business - and certainly not theirs. Telling me not to covet my neighbour's cow is one thing; telling me how to conduct my own death is quite another.

Contrariwise, the meeting had something of the atmosphere of a faith meeting about it and what Wootton really wanted from us was for us to stand up - rather like standing up for Billy Graham - and give her horror stories which could be used to help persuade people, persuade MP's, that something should be done to stop such horror. And there did seem to be quite a few of them about. We will get there in the end.

But I could see why she was going firmly for a narrow definition of what was to be allowed in the way of assisted dying: when one had plenty of work to do to persuade people, there was merit in not making things harder than they need be with a wide definition. Rather, head off at least some of the arguments against with a narrow one. Against which one might argue that it was better to take a bit more time, but to get it nearly right first time around. Second time around was apt to be a long way off. And it was a pity that we can't be as relaxed about all this as they are in the Netherlands. And I also think that we make far too much of a fuss about the possibility that someone dying rather slowly might have regard to the large chunk of family wealth that he or she was burning up in carer, care home or hospice charges. Why on earth would I not want to take that into account when managing my affairs?

From where I associated to the fact that a lot of deaths by shooting in the US are suicides: they may not have assisted dying in many states, but they do have lots of guns - with Wikipedia claiming about 20,000 suicides a year for guns - about two fifths of the total. See reference 6.

Figurative art on exit

Amber art on train

Back to the station where the bar had just closed, but there was an M&S which was open and which sold beer, wine and gin. I settled for wine, grateful that the march of screw top means one is no longer pushing the corks in on such occasions. Not that I am sure if my fingers are still up to it. The train was not busy and I was discrete, so no challenge. Wine not bad at all, a little older than our usual Villa Maria, finished with BH the evening following.

Along the way I learned from the Metro that St. Michael's Mount in Cornwall has been furnished with Easigrass. They might get plenty of rain to make the grass grow, but it is still no match for the tourists. See reference 9. Not sure that I have ever been: made it to Mount's Bay on various occasions, but not across the water to the Mount itself.

Reference 1: https://psmv4.blogspot.com/2019/08/dignity-in-dying.html.

Reference 2: https://www.dignityindying.org.uk/.

Reference 3: https://psmv4.blogspot.com/2019/09/the-millers-daughter.html.

Reference 4: https://psmv4.blogspot.com/2019/09/piano-27.html.

Reference 5: http://www.simplyfresh.info/.

Reference 6: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_violence_in_the_United_States.

Reference 7: https://pumpkinstrokemarrow.blogspot.com/search?q=chingford+hall+trestle.

Reference 8: https://pumpkinstrokemarrow.blogspot.com/search?q=patio+wickes. Sadly, the awning was not very successful, being no match for the breeze.

Reference 9: https://www.easigrass.com/.